I am an inmate serving a 25-year prison sentence at HM Prison Fosse Way. I stabbed a person to death in Hackney, London, around 20 years ago something I will always be ashamed of.

The impact of gang life

Over the past 20 years, I have seen first-hand the rise of gang culture across England’s prisons, and it is only getting worse. While I can’t change what I did and bring back the life I took, I hope my bad experiences can help the youngsters who come into the prison to choose a more productive lifestyle.

If I could speak to myself back then before I committed the acts that got me here, I would say this: violence is senseless. It doesn’t get you to where you want to be in the long term. If you are thinking about making money through serious violence, you will likely end up making nothing over the next 25 years, like me, when you eventually get caught.

Breaking the cycle

After spending most of my adult life across the prison system, I have managed to work towards changing myself, but it took a long time. At first, I fell into gang culture and high security sectioning followed. I was continuing in the wrong direction for several years. But eventually, one inmate, Kenny, saw value in me and helped me try to achieve something in my life. Nothing else there was telling me to change but he started to guide me. I educated myself, got a degree, and grew to respect others.

The thing is, I’m proud of this, but I could have done these things on the street and not ended up here, with a person’s life on my hands, in addition to all the other pain and crime I created.

Coded’s story: a young life in gangs

I spoke with Coded, who is serving an eight-year sentence for GBH - wounding with intent. He was 16 when he was incarcerated several years back. He is a South East London boy and is part of a notorious gang there. I wanted to know what got him into the gang life: “When I was in care, money was tight, and I had been there since I was eight. I wanted to get my Ps (money) up and get a sense of belonging.”

I asked Coded what opportunities could have helped to stop him going down this road. “At that point, that age, none”. He knew that he couldn’t get the things he wanted as a teenager by legitimate means – through school and the care system environment he was growing up in. “Maybe, if I was 15, I could have done something else to help, like an apprenticeship”.

Products of our environment

Could he have had more direction as a kid? Of course: “A youth club or even a stable home, a family. But there was no stability in my life”. And gang life appealed more: “A part of me desired everything: the good and the bad. It’s all part of the game which was all I knew”.

He knows things could have been different, but “we are products of our environment. There are older people around us carrying this, carrying that”. Unfortunately, London isn’t a place where things are settled without consequences. “We aren’t growing in an area, where, if we have a dispute, we are throwing fists. People carry.”

He now has a young child, and I know how much she means to him. So, I wondered, what would it take to get him to try a legit approach to life on the outside. “An education and qualifications”. Training in a profession that he is passionate about that can also lead to a well-paid job.

Lack of opportunities and desire to help

We are all products of our environment: “75% of kids in the care system live with mental health issues. And 45% have a diagnosable mental health disorder that can lead to things like self-harm 10 .” These people need extra help and support. “Mental health is a real thing.”

“Grooming is also a real thing.” They see vulnerable kids, and, because of their age and mental health issues, they can’t make proper judgements:

The need for proper guidance and support

But if he had the right skills, guidance, support, and even funding, maybe: “More than half (52%) of kids in care have a criminal conviction (by age 24). The statistics show the system is failing the younger generation.”

“Eventually, I must do something productive with my life. I can’t be old running around dealing drugs and trying to hurt people.”